It’s about the time to make sure to write my gratitude journal entry before bed and my kitty, Meeko, has just suddenly decided to sit on top of my chest which is making writing this very difficult. Even though he is making it slightly more difficult to write, I am immensely grateful to have such a wonderful life companion in my life like him. He is a source of such love and joy every day for me and he has provided me so much comfort through hard times and even just day-to-day. It sounds like I am talking about a person, and maybe that officially makes me a crazy cat lady, but Meeko is my baby and I feel so thankful to have such a lovely cat homie in my life.
I am also currently feeling pretty thankful for the Blackhawks win tonight. I felt like it could go either way, and then the momentum and the Blackhawks energy in the end dominated and I am so proud. I was never a big sports fan, but I was born and raised a Chicago Blackhawks fan. I feel sports teams truly bring a city together. The energy in Chicago right now from the Blackhawks success just emits good energy into Chicagoland, and the sense of communal oneness and happiness is such a beautiful thing. I am grateful for the good vibes that will continue on tomorrow because of the win.
On a deeper level, I have been so introspective the past few weeks, delving far into the depths of my psyche and why I sometimes choose paths that essentially end up leading me away from where I truly want to end up. I had a really gnarly dream last night about my old dog Chula, and upon analyzing it I really feel like I am starting to unearth some really deep issues of mine that are ready to be uprooted, because I am ready to plant the garden that should have been growing there all along. The roots have grown so deep that this weed cannot be yanked out in just one tug like I originally had thought. It is seeming to require some extra digging to get out all the roots still clinging beneath the surface, and just when I think that I have discarded all the roots and I am ready to plant some new healthy plants, I realize there’s more work to be done, more to unearth. It’s taken years of avoiding these weeds and thinking they will die off on their own in time that has allowed them to penetrate so deeply and strongly. I have finally reached a point of recognition, where these roots will not just disappear on their own and they will continue to lead me down an unhealthy path, and I must stop the cycle. I must cleanse the garden and start afresh. It is going to be a long process, but I am truly grateful, despite the uncertainty and stress involved, that I am finally at a conscious place where I can CHOOSE to move forward. I will no longer remain passive an assume things will change on their own or I will meet someone that will change my mind. No, I will change. What’s happened to me in my life is in the past. It will not continue to redefine me over and over again in my life. I have power and I have control to be the strong individual that I know I am and love myself fully and hold myself to a higher standard than I ever have before. Self-empowerment starts now and I am grateful for the universe providing me with the tools necessary to come to these realizations about myself and where to go from here.
Finally and just very simply, I am grateful for the mysteries of the universe.